The Root Causes of Addiction
By Marilyn Z. El-Abidin
Prologue: No one-person or living entity on this planet, regardless of what esteemed degree they have, or what innate talent or social status they possess, has not dealt with something they need to overcome. I make this statement because as you read this, you may, as I did, when I first began to soul search, would often think to myself, “Who is this person writing this? Are they so perfect making these bold statements?” The answer is that any and all of us, including myself, who have spent their time learning a healing art of some sort has done so because of an emotional wound that they, themselves, have needed to heal. This understanding is what makes for an empathic, compassionate person. Sometimes, even though our challenges hurt, they make us stronger and actually mold us into wiser, more honed, more patient individuals. It’s the final steps up the hill that are the hardest, and in my own opinion, those are the addictions, and their root causes.
What are addictions?
Addictions are the result of suppressing emotions inside the soul (mind/body/spirit). We create other emotions called “desires” to substitute for painful emotional experiences. These desires are cover-ups called “addictions”. Some examples are fears, buried grief, shame, anger or other kinds of emotions. The addictions help us to continue to deny or substitute the emotion that ultimately needs to be addressed and released in order to cure the addiction.
*An addiction is a powerful tool to avoid painful emotions which is why it is a huge struggle to give them up. Those who decide to exert their will and power to confront and face these addictions and causes end up happier in the end because ultimately, you took your power back.
Types of Addictions: (3 main forms)
Addictions can take different forms, for instance, addictions to substances like food, drugs, and alcohol, or other types, such as addiction to pornography, social media games, drama, and, need for constant approval, indecisiveness and self-sabotage.
- Emotional – more difficult to see and have less social judgment attached to them. In fact, we sometimes judge these addictions as loving and nice and they are supported in society most of the time. Because of this, emotional addictions are the most difficult to unravel. Some examples are: putting up a façade of “too nice”, and people pleasing, being manipulative or not being able to make decisions and constantly over-extending yourself for recognition, constant distraction with social media whereas your day completely slips away, or you cannot have a conversation with someone without holding your telephone. These are just a few. The result is often the exact opposite of what the person is looking for. They are looking for approval and recognition and what they get instead, sadly, is lack of respect, scattered thoughts, and abusive/using/manipulative/co-dependent relationships.
- Physical – situations that create temporary physical comfort. This is different than a substance addiction. For example, coming home and immediately turning on the television, watching porn or spending hours on a video or smart phone game and sitting there for the rest of the night. Unwinding is different than not being able to stop.
Society actually promotes and accepts these addictions. Watching TV isn’t terrible and neither are social media and video games. However, if you find that you “don’t have enough time” to do other things you have always wanted to do, like read a book or reach a goal, it could be because one of these subtle, societal addictions are in play. If you don’t have time go outside and spend a few moments breathing the air, and noticing that you are a part of nature, then your addiction is taking this time from you.
Society at large would be healthier, and our citizens would be more well-informed and productive if we were not so side-tracked. It’s all about balance. Are you automatically stressed or angry if Facebook isn’t working or your cell phone is misplaced? Here is an indication. This is, of course, an exercise of your own will. It is your decision whether to let your Light shine or apply the dimmer and give into addiction. How do you know the difference between whether or not you are addicted to these actions or simply enjoying them? Take them away. Do you get angry, slightly annoyed or stressed? Then it is possible there are addiction energies there. It doesn’t mean you cannot do it, but it does mean there is an emotion underneath that needs to emerge.
3 – Substance – “things” that seem to make the underlying emotion temporarily disappear such as alcohol and drugs which cause the self and those around you a progressive breaking down and damage. Or the milder, more socially accepted addictions like coffee, sugar, and over-eating, which are still consequential, but not as severe. An example is a person with grief, anger, denials or regrets may not want to feel that. Instead of processing these feelings and moving forward, the addiction makes a temporary patch, and the process goes over and over and over again creating a vicious circle.
What is underneath that we are trying to cover up? Fears and painful emotions. The strong and most willful, and loving thing to do is to take down the façade, feel the emotion, process it, and release it. Poof! It’s gone! It’s sort of like having the nerve to confront the beast – remember Odysseus? This is the way to heal from the root. Once you process the emotion and use your sincere will to overcome the addiction, you are then freeing a space within you to feel lighter and to brighten your own Light. We all have dark emotions. That is a part of living on this planet. However, when we store them continually year after year, they darken our personalities and this is manifested by “getting a bad vibe” from someone. Or, simply by self-defeating behaviors, such as addictions.
When you follow your addictions, you eventually have a more painful life. Isn’t it better to just deal with the cause and set it free? Come on now, you know you are stronger than the addiction. You know it. Take your power back. It was always yours anyway. Would you let someone into your home to steal all your jewelry? Would you post your bank account on Facebook and say, “take it, it’s free?”. Then why would you give away your own power? It’s the same thing.
What then, is the first step in healing an addiction? You need to be SINCERE. You need to be VERY sincere about wanting to overcome your addiction. If you are sincere, then your will automatically aligns with the desire to heal and overcome.
That is the first step, and frankly, the most important one of all.
Does the hypnotist take control during the session? Absolutely not! On the contrary, hypnosis is a heightened state of awareness. You will be able to hear, think, speak and even feel if you need to use the rest room. The only really difference between hypnosis and meditation is that a hypnotist is trained to notice certain reactions, what they mean, and how to clarify the story your subconscious is telling you.
What will you discover during hypnosis? Once your brain enters the theta-wave state (the state where your subconscious thoughts are most accessible). You may get something called an “ab-reaction”. This is a simple as a tingling feeling somewhere in your body, or a heavy feeling, for instance your shoulders, your belly, your neck or wherever. This is often the energetic/physical location where an emotion is stored. Then, we can go there to explore the emotion and set it free.
When was the emotion formed and when did you start suppressing it? Your sub-conscious has a story and knows exactly what to tell you first. It’s like peeling an onion. The first layer comes off, then the second. It’s like healing a wound. Your body knows what cells to send to the wound and your soul (or your mind if you prefer) knows what story to tell you, even if it doesn’t make sense, or you haven’t thought about it in years, or you think you made it all up.
Will I be forced under hypnosis to tell things I do not want to reveal? No, you are in complete control during hypnosis. However, what you need to remember is that the truth sets us free J. There is no judgement here.
Sometimes, (but not always), there can be another consciousness, or what I call, ” thought blobs” also involved in your addiction, enhancing and feeding off the behavior via an energetic connection to the person facilitated by a resonance to the suppressed emotion. This can often block a session. However, I have learned through experience and training with other professionals, a way to use muscle testing to find and safely release these energetic blockages before the session starts, which has proven to be very helpful.
Preparation for Addiction For Your Appointment
1 – Align your Will with a Sincere Desire to Overcome, once and for all, knowing deep within you that this will ultimately heal the pain of your addiction and improve your life in many ways. In other words, dismantle the façade and Get Real. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.
The fact you are seeking help shows your strength and ability to overcome. Be proud of that.
- Know that this is not about forming a new on-going addiction. For example, “I am addicted to alcohol, so now I am also addicted to getting the approval of my therapist or my hypnotist for every single thing I think and do.” Please, take your power back. That is the ultimate goal.
*While it is true that the support of a professional or a group can help substantially, and being around people who are free from the addiction is very healthy, the ultimate goal is to give the power back to YOU, a viable, thinking, intelligent human. You, and only you, are the person who should decide how many appointments to make, and when you are healed. In the end, you heal yourself. That’s the way it is.
- If you are religious or spiritual person, begin asking and praying for divine support or spend a few moments every day in a silence, preferably in a natural setting outside, just looking around and breathing quietly. Begin with this affirmation,
“I am stronger than my addiction. My will is aligned with my inner strength to overcome. The Light inside of me grows, the truth becomes clear, and I am free”
Or, here is a shortened affirmation, inspired by the book, “Scientific Healing Affirmations” by Paramahansa Yogananda
“The Light is flowing through me and present in all my cells and body parts. I am well”.
Good Luck. You can do it. if you couldn’t you would not be reading this :).
For a while I was volunteering my time at an Intermediate School Home Skills class, doing a project called, “Personify the Earth”. We talked about green living and then made home made deodorant ( this recipe is no longer shared, because the deodorant is now in production and soon available on this site. It’s great! – but onto the subject at hand – ” Going Green in 2016″
It is a little difficult to talk to a bunch of 11, 12 and 13 year old students about why they should care about the planet. In addition to their age and general restlessness, the curious mix of child-like behavior peppered with juvenile flirtations and occasional wise cracks amplified this challenge even more. I very often encountered the general complacent “disinterested student in space” that is becoming more and more common these days. You know, the one that immediately starts entering a hypnotic state the minute they sit down, blank white face, eyes that seem to have their inner windows to the soul shut and sealed with Elmer’s glue, slouching in the chair, and going through the motions until it’s time for them to leave or take a standardized test. Or the other kind, the hyper, “labeled” child, who thinks you are super dumb and takes every step to let you know it. But gosh, everyone there is inherently real, and ripe and wanting to connect in a deeper way. That’s for sure.
So I said,
” The reason I am here to talk about Green Living is NOT because it’s just another rule you have to follow and thing you have to do. It’s because it feels good inside to do good things for our friends and others. It feels good when we make our friends and loved ones smile. It feels good when someone likes us, right? It feels good to show someone how much you like them too. And, did you know that the earth is alive? It is! I’m not here to give you more rules or give you a bunch of information to repeat to me and forget when you leave through the door in forty minutes. I’m here to talk to you about something we all have in common. Our planet! “
Suddenly, a few ears opened.
” Our planet isn’t alive! one student said, It’s just a bunch of rocks.” (weird teacher-lady eye roll happening at this time)
” Well, what if those rocks and mountains were the bones of the planet?”, I said.
” If the rocks and mountains are the bones, then what might the hair be?”
” Grass! Trees, Flowers!” a girl said to me.
and we went from there.
Tears – the rain
Perfume – flowers
Wind – the voice of the planet
Blood – the waterways, oceans being the arteries, and the smaller lakes and streams are the veins are capillaries
kidneys – the filter feeders in the waters, like mussels and clams
Brain – most students said the thoughts of the people and animals
Voice – chirping birds was the consensus most of the time
Smiles – flowers were the most common response, and some also said that flowers are the way the earth decorates for holidays.
Anger – thunder and lightening
Heart of the planet – most of the children agreed that everything working together created the heart of the planet
And of course, there was a cute, silly boy who said, ” What happens when the planet has to fart?”
An earthquake! ( Chuckle chuckle )
After that discussion, the atmosphere became a little more conversational and it was easier to explain to them that the planet is INDEED ALIVE. If it weren’t it could not sustain another living being. After all, isn’t everything made from some something that moves? Even rocks have moving structures at the molecular level.
And so, the first steps, folks, IS INTROSPECTION and APPRECIATION – Personify the Earth; walk a mile in someone’s shoes and suddenly, you begin to understand them a lot better, right?
How can you show any respect for anything if you don’t sit down and understand why you even should? How can you appreciate anything if you don’t bring that thing or that person into focus and understand them a little better. This goes for relationships too. A little appreciation goes a long way to healing anything. Absolutely anything.
If you appreciate something, you are more willing to take steps to preserve it. For instance, if you take some quiet time tomorrow and go outside alone, just look around you at our beautiful world and turn on your senses. Smell the breeze, look at the closest tree, look at your feet, your skin, a tiny walking bug ; feel the temperature of the wind on your skin, taste the air. Suddenly, you will understand what I mean. it’s very easy to want to preserve such a beautiful thing. We’re all in this together, after all. It starts with appreciation.
After that step, then just simply ask yourself what YOU, yourself, feel comfortable doing. Don’t work from guilt. Do you feel good about not using plastic? Then start bringing your own bag to the store. Start buying your beverages in glass. Do you feel good about using plastic but then using the bags for garbage to save a little money? Then do that. Do you feel good making home made food and cutting out preservatives ( knowing that all these preservatives end up in our toilets, to the sewers, and either soak into the soil or evaporate into the cloud only to rain back down upon us.
What resonates with you? Maybe you like to smile and be smiled at. Do that tomorrow. It’s contagious.
Do you feel like you would like to recycle more? Stop using chemicals in the home? Clean with vinegar and lemons instead? Then do that.
Perhaps you are feeling creative and want to “up-cycle” something in your home. For instance, you can cut up old sweaters and make a new coat ( A friend of mine does this) or, make a cat bed out of an old suit case. There are so many ideas. Do you feel like taking a walk to the beach, lake or ball park to pick up garbage, or maybe planting a garden this year? Then do that.
Appreciation does so much. We can start with each other. Smile at someone tomorrow. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Make an effort not to hate and to research something that interests you.
We are all a part of the heartbeat of this great ball in space. Let’s make 2016 greater than the year before.
Happy New Year from Earth Love
Summer isn’t over yet! The lavender should have bloomed a few times already. Here in New Jersey, we clip each bloom; once in June, another in July, August and finally the September harvest of sweet smelling lavender.
Here is a beautifully fragrant Lavender Lemonade that is probably the best breath fresher you’ve ever placed onto your lips.
You can make it all year round. If you didn’t plant any lavender this year, get some plants at the fall sale! They come up every year, bigger and more beautiful. For the recipe and more information about lavender, click the gallery above and Happy September from Earth Love!
Growing fresh peppermint is one of the easiest things to do if you are new to gardening. All you have to do is throw some seeds down and ” poof!” You will be inundated with peppermint for years to come. It’s even easier if you go to the garden center and buy a few plants, dig a small hole, and give the plants a new, happy home. Peppermint is one of the most hardy perennial plants out there. When something is perennial, it comes back year after year, bigger and more beautiful. So, wherever you plant your peppermint, be sure there is a lot of space or put it into a pot. I love my peppermint and usually cannot resist grabbing a little leaf to chew on when I walk by.
Fresh peppermint tastes wonderful. Just take a leaf and either chew it or suck on it a little while to freshen your breath. Before our chewing gum became a chemical bath of fake sugar and saccharin soup, fresh peppermint was the natural inspiration for fresh breath. But there’s so much more peppermint can do for you. Click her for some more information on the health benefits of peppermint. Now: onto the recipe!
Baking soda is one of those wonder products if you are a participant in Green Cleaning. It’s alkaline, and that’s why it reduces odor ( which is usually more acidic in nature). This recipe was discovered here at Earth Love by experimentation( like everything else). You simply pick the peppermint, dry it over one or two nights and swirl it up in your food processor with baking soda. Sprinkle on your carpet, leave for a little while, and then vacuum up! No headache! No toxins for the babies, the kitties and the puppies. No new plastic containers. No chemicals seeping into your bare feet. No chemicals eventually running down the drain, then into the waterways, up to the clouds and back down upon us. You just helped the planet by doing something fresh, easy, and WONDERFUL! I know you are going to enjoy this – and also know that you can extend this recipe to your other fresh and favorite scents. Be creative! I’ve done this with pine needles, basil, dried sage, dried lavender, and even dried rose petals. Once you realize how much nature has to offer, once you appreciate and connect, you sort of go wild. Have fun with this. We do!
Rhubarb is a hardy perennial plant, indigenous to the mountains in China. Who knew?
So this year I decided to venture into “rhubarb”. I had never worked with, nor planted rhubarb before here at my New Jersey home. To me, the name sounded like some odd looking plant growing in a huge Idaho field that I would probably never see in my lifetime. I know I’ve never seen it at the store. But one day this spring, some fresh smelling day in May when I was anxiously awaiting all of the fresh veggies and flowers to show their gracious selves outside in the open air garden centers, I stopped at Home Depot. As I walked down the gardening isle, I saw bag filled with dirt and some unknown “other” debris with a tag on it that said, “rhubarb”. What did I have to loose? So I picked it up and gave it a whirl. It’s always a real bonus when something is perennial, because that means that every year, it will come up again and again, sharing it’s beauty, taste and nutrition with you.
Here is the dictionary definition of rhubarb:
Medicinal? not surprised. What naturally grown thing isn’t in some way..
Astringent – perhaps over the next few days I will be making a skin tonic. I will post soon.
A quarrel or squabble? Perhaps the next time my husband gets moody I’ll just tell him, ” Stop being so rhubarb!”
I’m sure that will shut him up :D. ( well on second thought, maybe for only about five minutes until his Gemini nature kicks back in).
So far, I’ve made two wonderful recipes with my rhubarb: All natural jam and Mock lemon chicken soup ( I simply used two stalks of rhubarb in the soup and it gave a nice, lemony, sour flavor)
August Harvest Strawberry Rhubarb Jam with Natural Honey
1 pound of strawberries ( the large plastic container) if you haven’t grown them, quartered
4 1/2 stalks of freshly snipped rhubarb, cut in 1 inch pieces
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 1/2 cups of honey
1 6oz package of liquid pectin
Place rhubarb, strawberries, cinnamon and fruit pectin into a large pot over medium heat. Stir the fruit mixture to help the juice start to form, and add the honey, stirring constantly until everything is mixed. Turn up heat to medium-high, bring the mixture to a full rolling boil, and then place on simmer with the top on. This mixture should be looking like a sauce within no more than ten minutes. Just keep an eye and take the heat off when it looks like the consistency you want has been reached.
Sterilize the jars and lids in boiling water for at least 5 minutes. Take out the jars and gently pour the warm mixture into the jars. It’s possible that the jars will seal just by the heated jelly alone, but to be sure you can place the jars into a 425 degree oven on a cookie sheet for about ten minutes, or submerse the jars into boiling water for a few minutes.
Rhubarb has medicinal properties too. But doesn’t every natural thing heal you in some way? That’s why going natural is better!
Rhubarb as a laxative – in addition to rhizomes, rhubarb contains compounds known as anthraquinoones. These compounds stimulate gastrointestinal peristalsis and are found in commercial laxatives. Rhubarb also contains tannins, which further enhance colonic motility while providing antibacterial effects. Click here for more information
Aphid and caterpillar deterrent: Boil up those huge rhubarb leaves, let cool, add a dash of liquid soap and spray onto your garden plants. Notice there aren’t any holes in the rhubarb leaves. Too sour!
Health benefits of Rhubarb
- Rhubarb is one of the least calorie vegetables. 100 g fresh petioles carry just 21 calories. Nonetheless, it holds some vital phyto-nutrients such as dietary fiber, poly-phenolic anti-oxidants, minerals, and vitamins. Further, its petioles contain no saturated fats or cholesterol.
- The stalks are rich in several B-complex vitamins such as folates, riboflavin, niacin, vitamin B-6 (pyridoxine), thiamin, and pantothenic acid.
- Red color stalks carry more vitamin-A than in the green varieties. Further, the stalks also contain small amounts of poly-phenolic flavonoid compounds like ß-carotene, zea xanthin, and lutein. These compounds convert into vitamin A inside the human body and deliver same protective effects of vitamin A. Vitamin A is a powerful natural anti-oxidant which is required by the body for maintaining integrity of skin and mucus membranes. It is also an essential vitamin for healthy eye-sight. Research studies suggest that natural foods rich in vitamin A may help protect from lung and oral cavity cancers.
- As in other greens like kale, spinach, etc., rhubarb stalks too provide good amounts of vitamin-K. 100 g of fresh stalks provide 29.3 µg or about 24% of daily recommended intake of this vitamin. Vitamin K has a potential role in bone health by promoting osteotrophic (bone formation and strengthening) activity. Adequate vitamin-K levels in the diet help limiting neuronal damage in the brain; thus, has established role in the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease.
- Its stalks also contain healthy levels of minerals like iron, copper, calcium, potassium, and phosphorus. However, most of these minerals do not absorb into the body as they undergo chelation into insoluble complexes by oxalic acid, which then excreted out.
The leaves of this plant are poisonous and should not be used internally. May aggravate gout and arthritis conditions.